Leaders: Crossing Paths With Haters

A previous post, BAITERs, Haters, and Social Climbers, continues to receive considerable views and comments over one year after it was published on this blog. I apparently touched a nerve somewhere in cyberspace. My takeaway is that this topic and related subjects warrant further discussion. Earlier today, I received this message via FaceBook from a friend and author, Janice Jones:

“You know, I’m really disgusted that the word hater has ever surfaced. Everyone is now walking around talking about their haters. It just gives some people an excuse to behave as silly as they want to and find illegitimate reasons to stay that way. Just because I don’t like what you say, what you do, or how you act does not mean I am hating on you.”

Although hater or hating didn’t make USA Today’s [Ref 1] list of banned words for 2013, it did make Ask Men’s list of Top 10 Most Overused Words [Ref 2].  Love/hate weighed in at No. 10. These words have been overused to the point that they have become slang-fodder for just about anything.  Perhaps this is what Janice is talking about.

In the earlier post referred to above, I defined haters as being synonymous with BAITERS (backstabbers, accusers, imposters, takers, exploiters and reckless people). However, on further thought and contemplation, I’d like to enhance this definition. By now, some of you are asking, what is a hater? I turned to the Urban Dictionary [Ref 3] to get a better understanding of how this word is being used in contemporary expressions:

Here are six definitions of haters provided by Urban Dictionary:

1. A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates; rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch. E.g. Person 1: You know, Kevin from accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part of town. Person 2 (hater): If he is doing so well why does he drive that ’89 Taurus?

2. Overused word that people like to use just because someone else expresses a dislike for a certain individual. Person 1: I don’t like Beyonce’s new song. Person 2: You’re a hater!

3. A term used by others, and mostly “gangsters”, whose lives are absolutely and undeniably defined by what others think. These people “rumble” often and think of themselves as original and/or indestructible. People that use the term haters are usually not socially evolved, and are very sensitive to what someone may say or do, i.e. their emotions bleed the fastest. “Why you hatin’ on me?” “These haters be up in my grill!”

4. A person that develops a strong dislike for another, solely basing their own opinion on personal judgment rather than objective merit. The formation of a hater’s contempt commonly arises from jealously and/or resentment. Individuals that make fun of, or hate others for justified reasons cannot be legitimately classified as haters. Additionally, the word hater is frequently overused, mainly by members of the rap and hip-hop communities.

5. To be a hater is to discriminate or hate something, someone, or a certain type of something. To hate some things can be good: e.g. I hate poverty, war, cancer, etc.

6. A person who feels anger and/or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for. A being who speaks badly, and/or takes negative actions in attempt to create problems for a successful person. E.g.: When you make it out of the hood, a friend can turn into a hater.
   

The six definitions above characterize most of the haters that you and I have met in life.

A hater in today’s jargon, especially among the millennial generation, is someone who is jealous and envious of others and attempts to cause problems for those who have what they don’t. We all have haters among us!

A sad reality is that most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side. The subject of haters will continue in future posts. In the meantime, review the above definitions to better understand who haters are, and why they act and behave in the manner that they do! As a STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) professional, I have certainly seen my fair share of bad actors and actresses in the work place. However, all were not haters!

Until my next post on this topic, remember….haters are people too! 

Reference:

1.   Selfie leads list of banished words for 2013, David Jesse, Detroit Free Press, December 31, 2013, http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/12/31/selfie-banned-words-2013-lake-superior-state/4255827/

2.   Top 10: Most Overused Words, Andrew Chomik, http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-most-overused-words_10.html

3.   Definition of Hater, Urban Dictionary, http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hater