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Diversity & Inclusion, Other

All BAITERs are not Created Equal

HonestEnemy-FakeFriendA few months ago, the house that I live in was robbed! The robbery occurred between midnight and 3 a.m., and the only items that were missing are three notebook computers. The theft was discovered around 5 a.m.

After ruling out possible explanations for the missing property, with eyebrows raised and eyes open, we proceeded to ask a relative of one of my roommates what he knew about the missing computers because he had only been staying on the property in an external bedroom for about two weeks. It was around 6 a.m. Our guest stated that he didn’t know anything and hadn’t seen or heard anything.

After casing the property to get a sense of who may have entered the premises and where, one of the missing notebooks was found behind the shed with headphones attached. My roommate says to her relative, “We are about to call the police, are you sure you don’t know anything about this?” He stated that he didn’t and he had to catch the bus because he was going to be late for a job interview….hmmm.

As she continued to talk to him, he started running down the street towards the bus stop. She started running behind him. She noticed that he took some items out of his back pack and tossed them in the dumpster in a parking lot on the corner. Thinking that this was odd behavior, she reached the end of the street and looked inside the dumpster. Voila! She discovered the other two notebooks…hmmm.

Character-LoyaltyThings are starting to add up now except for one thing: why would someone that you have befriended, invited into your home because they didn’t have a place to stay do something like this? As we would discover later, this was not the first or second or even third time that our guest has exhibited similar behavior. Regrettably, he has a long list of friends and relatives who have also attempted to work with him or help him in the past, only to experience similar results.

While the robbery occurred a few months ago, connecting the behavior of our short-term guest to that of a BAITER – Backstabber, Accuser, Imposter, Taker, Exploiter, and Reckless, just surfaced. Given some of the comments that I have received to earlier post on the topic, most folks don’t equate BAITERs and family in the same conversation. Keep in mind that every rude, insulting, arrogant person that you have met in the work place, sporting event, grocery store, or elsewhere is someone’s relative.

HowYouTreatOthersOur short-term guest certainly exhibited signs of an imposter, taker, exploiter, and reckless behavior. While I would never have characterized him as such, it is apparent that this was not new behavior, or something that he has done once or twice, but a pattern of behavior that he has exhibited for a number of years.

BAITERs are men, women, and transgender individuals. They are members of every race and ethnicity, and every age group including small children. And sadly, they may be a close relative, or someone you have known for a very long time if not all of your life. They are educated and uneducated, and they will stop at nothing to take or acquire what you have. You will never be able to convince them that your needs are greater than theirs. 

The backstabbing and accusatory behavior didn’t show up until a few days later after the robbery. Needless to say we were all accused of mistreating this individual and keeping some of his personal items. Characteristically, he felt extremely entitled to help himself to whatever he wanted from our residence for his personal purposes. Also characteristically was the pattern of behavior that our guest has exhibited over the past several years with just about everyone.

What is most interesting in my experience with a number of BAITERs, is that each assumes that he/she is smarter than everyone else.  As a friend puts it, they see themselves as much smarter than the average bear. They are so cunning and believable in the manner in which they operate, you nor I would ever catch on to them, and certainly not very quickly.

Needless to say, our former guest is no longer welcome in our home or on the premises.

Note: See earlier post, BAITERs, Haters, and Social Climbers.

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About Vi Brown

Vi is principal and CEO of Prophecy Consulting Group, LLC, an Arizona firm that provides business and engineering services to private and public clients. Prior to establishing her consulting practice in 2001, Vi worked with Motorola, Maricopa County Government, Pacific Gas & Electric, CH2M Hill, and Procter & Gamble. As an adjunct faculty member, Vi teaches undergraduate calculus classes and graduate level environmental courses. She is also a professional speaker.

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